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Christina Aguilera Gives An Interview While Totally Trashed

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Ok, she didn’t say she was trashed, and she wasn’t carrying around a flask or anything (visibly), but sometimes, you just know.

Here, just check it out:

On gossip blogs: “Now everyone is a critic.  don’t read blogs. It’s just God-knows-who in Buttf-ck wherever writing hate shit. You can’t take it seriously. I’m sure you’ve all been hated on at some point by buttf-ck people.”

On other shows like The Voice: “I’ve not actually seen a full episode of any of the other music shows. I saw the commercials early on of American Idol of Simon being a dick. I was like, ‘Man, that’s not what it’s about!’ I didn’t want to treat people like that. I wanted to do The Voice to show that we can be positive. We don’t have to knock people down.”

On songwriter Linda Perry and the process of writing “Beautiful”: “Linda Perry is raw, she’s real and she intimidates a lot of grown men. She’s amazing. I was having a really bad day. I came into her studio. It was at her house at the time. I was working with her on a bunch of stuff. She just kind of sat down at her piano in her dining room and started singing. ’Don’t do all that Mariah shit’ –  that was her, not me, I love that shit! But she was like ‘don’t be doing all that acrobatic shit, just sing!’”

On more shit: “Shit happens, man. This is the business. It’s not going to be all cute and pretty and tied up in a little bow.”

On the interview itself: “It’s real talk today.”

See what I mean? Oh, and when she was talking about “Beautiful,” she took a break to sing a few lines from the song. Isn’t that such a drunk girl thing to do? “Oh yeah, my song ‘Beautiful,’” and then she goes into “all that Mariah shit.” Then she burps and says “it’s real talk today.” I LOVE it.

And I’m also really glad to know that she think of me as “God-knows-who in Buttf-ck wherever writing hate shit.” I know she’s probably not talking about me personally, but it still gives me some weird sense of validation. Thank you for that, Drunk Christina. Thank you for the real talk.

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Mariah Carey Got The Most Serious Massage

A photo of Mariah Carey

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering why I’m seriously dedicating a whole post to some massage that Mariah Carey got, and I understand that. It does seem like a particularly boring subject, but guys. You have to trust me on this one. Because this story is awesome.

From Us Weekly:

The American Idol diva arranged an eight-hour rub-down while she got shut-eye at her L.A. mansion September 29.

“The masseuse made $1,500,” a source tells Us Weekly. On top of that, Carey had a seriously kooky request.

“She insisted [Sacha Baron Cohen’s] Bruno play on repeat,” the insider adds. “It looped the entire time!”

This is what rich people do. They get massages for eight hours while watching Bruno over and over and napping. I’m having trouble even comprehending that. I thought about getting a massage one time, but then I figured I’d probably just pay my water bill or whatever. Or go shopping. Because no joke, I think I’m developing a moderate addiction to shopping. The other day I was out and I just bought two pairs of jeans on a whim, and when I got home I was like “I don’t even like these,” so I took them back and got different clothes. And then last week I got some whey protein because I’ve been getting into fitness and all, and I made a drink and it was so gross and I felt sick, so I asked my boyfriend if it had any sort of dairy in it (I’m lactose intolerant), and he just looked at me and I was like “oh, right.”

Did I just get incredibly off topic? It’s because Mariah Carey’s massage just completely blew my mind.

Mariah Carey’s Movie Munchkin

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Mariah Carey posted a photo of 18-month-old Monroe on her Instagram account on Friday (October 26).

She writes: “Ms Monroe preparing to watch The Goddess!”

Fans will soon see Mariah and fellow American Idol judges Nick Minaj, Keith Urban and Randy Jackson kick off the 12th season on January 16, 2013.

For Halloween the 42-year-old singer is throwing a contest in which she’s asking entrants to dress like her in a music video. Deadline to enter is November 1, 2012.

 


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