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Madonna Has A Voodoo Doll Of Director Who Rejected Her

On The Tonight Show last night, Jay Leno dared to ask Madonna about movie auditions that didn’t do so well for her. This is after she claimed that when casting for W.E., she tried her best to make actors “feel at ease” during their audition process because she knows how much auditioning can suck. Her reaction was the kind of classic Madonna that makes us wonder what director would dare make her not at ease.

“What did you audition for that you sucked at?” Leno asked.

“Oh. [Pause] … I’m not telling,” she said, laughing a little as she say back and crossed her arms. “I just remember doing an audition once and then afterwards it was just total silence, and the director just went, ‘Thank you.’ … Then there’s the other kind of audition where you audition for something like eight times. You just keep coming back and auditioning. It’s like a kind of torture. I did that for a film and then I ended up not getting the part and that was not very pleasant. I have a voodoo doll of that director.”

So, who would that director be?

We know that Madge was supposed to play the role of Ginger in Martin Scorsese’s Casino back in 1995, but Sharon Stone convinced him to give it to her instead. She was also supposed to have the Meryl Streep part in Music of the Heart, but left due to “creative differences” with director Wes Craven. Hmmm. Any other guesses?

In the meantime, we can assume one rejected actor isn’t sticking pins in a Madonna doll: Daughter Lourdes was supposed to have a cameo as the younger version of Abbie Cornish’s character (a modern-day woman obsessed with Wallace Simpson’s story), but her part ended up on the cutting room floor. “But she was really great and then I ended up cutting her out of the film. Ruthless, I know,” she told MTV News. “I said, ‘Sorry babe, you’re on the cutting room floor.’ She took it like a champ.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jennifer Lawrence Returns To Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue

If we hadn’t already seen evidence of Kristen Stewart’s upcoming Vanity Fair spread, we know there’d be an uprising about her absence from the cover of VF’s annual Hollywood Issue. After all, there are two other alumnae from the 2010 issue returning for this year’s cover: Mia Wasikowska and Jennifer Lawrence. They share the mag’s front image with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’s Rooney Mara and Jessica Chastain, she of The Help and every other critically acclaimed movie of 2011.

Behind the fold are some other rather recognizable faces from the past year, albeit made up in ultra-glam ’30s-era styling for the Mario Testino photo that makes them nearly unrecognizable: Elizabeth Olsen, Shailene Woodley, Paula Patton and Lily Collins. Three of the actresses are buzzy but not yet getting mainstream recognition: Adepero Oduye, star of the indie fave Pariah; Like Crazy’s Felicity Jones and Brit Marling, who co-wrote and starred in last year’s Another Earth and co-stars opposite Richard Gere in the upcoming hedge-fund drama (!) Arbitrage.

Other things of note about this cover: Jezebel points out that, while the cover is an improvement over the 2010′s all-white-female pic, this year’s only women of color, Patton and Oduye, are pushed to the second and third panels. Good point, but to be fair, their stars haven’t yet risen to the levels of the four front-page ladies. Here’s hoping they do soon, though. Also, it’s interesting that while some of the actresses are completely transformed for the shoot, Rooney Mara’s still all Lisbeth Salandered out in a choppy bob and black lipstick. And one more thing: We can’t wait to read the piece called “Free Willy!” by James Wolcott about penises in film. We will definitely read it while lounging in our boudoir in a pink silk dress while sipping a martini.

[Photos: Vanity Fair]

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Kristen Bell Sloth Story Reveals Dax Shepard As Best Boyfriend Ever

Some of us didn’t need another reason to love Kristen Bell. Not since the day we watched her first stakeout on Veronica Mars. And lately, what with her Hunger Games superfandom and her House of Lies badassery, we’ve been loving her even more. But some of us also didn’t get how someone of her level of extreme cuteness was engaged to someone of moderate cuteness like Dax Shepard (mostly, we just want her and Logan to be together forever and ever). Until today. On The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Kristen told Ellen how Dax surprised her on her birthday last year by bringing a sloth to their house for her birthday party. Then she shared that her love of sloths is so great that she went into a full-on panic attack after merely GUESSING that there was one in her house. Watch the video below.

Disappointingly, we see no sloth action (oxymoron?) in this clip, just a photo of the tearstained Kristen next to her visitor in a cage. But we do see evidence of Dax sweetly reacting to Kristen’s freakout. Much sweeter, say, than Ellen, who pretended that she was bringing a sloth out to the show just to see Kristen’s face. Hilarious, but also kind of mean. So, from here on out, we promise not to doubt the perfection of the Kristen-Dax match. But if you want to bring a sloth by the VH1 offices, just as insurance, Dax, we’ll let you.

[Photo: The Ellen DeGeneres Show]


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